The Best Books on Hosting Parties

I don't read many books about hosting. There aren't many good ones.

But a few changed how I throw parties, and people ask me about them constantly. So here's my list. The first four are books I've talked about on podcasts or quoted in my own book. The rest are the ones that show up on every other list, and I've marked them clearly.

The hosting books I actually recommend

1. The 2-Hour Cocktail Party (my book)

I'm putting my own book first. Sorry, not sorry.

Here's why. Nobody teaches the basic skill of hosting. I've talked to hundreds of people about this, and the advice they need is very, very elementary. Here are the supplies to buy. Remind people to take their shoes off. Put a candle in your bathroom.

I wrote it for someone who has never hosted a party before. I wanted to take someone from zero to one and build a whole new generation of hosts.

If you already host, you'll blaze through it in half an hour. If you've never hosted, I hear from readers who read it three times and highlighted it before their first party.

You can read the whole thing free, or buy it on Amazon.

2. The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker

Priya Parker wrote an absolute classic. In my mind, it's written for experienced hosts. It's a very theoretical book that talks about the theory of why we gather.

That's not a knock. It's the reason I wrote mine. Read hers once you've hosted a few parties and you want to think harder about why you're doing it.

I quote her in my own book on the thing new hosts get wrong most, which is letting the party run long:

"Accepting the impermanence of a gathering is part of the art. When we vaguely try to extend our gatherings, we are not only living in denial, we are also depriving our gathering of the kind of closing that gives it the chance of enduring in people's hearts."

That's the best argument I know for ending your party on time.

3. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

You've heard of this one. I'm including it for a single line.

"A person's name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

That's Dale Carnegie, and it's the whole reason I make everyone wear name tags. The easiest way to make that sweet sound happen is to write it on a sticker. Save your guests from embarrassment. Make it easy for everyone to remember names.

4. Storyworthy by Matthew Dicks

The best book I've read about storytelling is Storyworthy by a guy named Matthew Dicks. He's such a talented storyteller.

His big rule is write like you talk. Don't write a LinkedIn post that opens with "I'm happy to announce." If a friend asked "Dude, what's new?" you would never answer "Well, I'm happy to announce." So don't write it either.

I use this for my invitations and my icebreakers. The questions that work at a party sound like a person talking. The ones that flop sound like a corporate team meeting.

The entertaining books everyone else recommends

I searched for the best books on hosting and entertaining and read what came back. These five come up over and over. I'm listing them so you have the full picture, not because I've cooked my way through them.

Fair warning: most hosting books are really cookbooks. Mine isn't, and that's on purpose. I serve drinks and a few snacks, and I spend my energy on the guest list and the introductions instead.

5. How to Host a Dinner Party by Corey Mintz

Corey Mintz is a food writer who hosted a dinner party nearly every week for a year and wrote about what happened. His rule is that the goal of a dinner party is to have fun with your friends, not to show off your cooking.

6. Let's Party by Dan Pelosi

The newest one on this list. Dan Pelosi organizes 100-plus recipes into sixteen complete dinner parties, so you pick an occasion and cook the whole menu from one chapter. It also covers guest lists and table setting.

7. The Hostess Handbook by Maria Zizka

A hundred recipes, plus menus that run from a Sunday supper to a holiday dinner, primers on setting the table and flower arranging, and cocktails with nonalcoholic versions alongside.

8. Swing By! by Stephanie Nass

Stephanie Nass gets called the millennial Martha Stewart. This is the big, lush, over-the-top entertaining book on the list, so pick it up if you like a decorated table.

9. Your Turn to Host by Amber Mayfield Hewett

Amber Mayfield Hewett is an event planner, and this is the full playbook: timelines, invites, menus, playlists, sparking the conversation, and party favors. It covers game nights and potlucks, not just dinners.

Where to start

If you've never hosted a party, start with mine. It's free to read right here. Then host one. That part matters more than the reading.

If you've hosted a few already, read Priya Parker.

And if you want the friendship side of this, I made a separate list of the best books on making friends as an adult.

Read a hosting book that changed how you do it? Email me. I want to hear about it.