Last updated: October 7, 2024
Have you ever moved to a new city and struggled to make friends?
That’s exactly what happened to Nikol when she relocated to Brisbane, Australia. But instead of giving up, she turned to a surprising solution: hosting a party.
Using the principles from my book, The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, Nikol not only made new friends but also launched a thriving events company.
In this article, you’ll discover:
- How Nikol’s first party turned into a business connecting thousands
- The key strategies from the book that made her events successful
- Tips for maintaining friendships after the party ends
- Nikol’s exciting new app to help people build lasting relationships
Why you should listen to me: My name is Nick Gray, and I’m the best–selling author of the party handbook The 2-Hour Cocktail Party. I’ve hosted hundreds of parties all over the world. After making it a habit, I can easily host a gathering and make new friends with no sweat. I’ve been featured in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and New York Magazine once called me a host of “culturally significant” parties.Meet Nikol
Nikol is an adventurous spirit who’s no stranger to new beginnings.
Originally from Melbourne, she’s lived in various parts of Australia including Brisbane in 2022 and Sydney where she now resides.
Despite her outgoing nature and varied interests, Nikol found herself facing an unexpected challenge in her new home.
Nikol’s Journey
Even as a social and unafraid of putting herself out there as Nikol was, she found it difficult to break into established friend groups in the city.
“I tried apps, Facebook groups, and MeetUps without much success,” Nikol shared. “Even if you get along with people, they’re not taking applications for new friends.”
That’s when she stumbled upon The 2-Hour Cocktail Party book through a podcast. “This is a good idea,” she thought, “I wish I had people to invite to this!”
The First Party
After reading my book (three times!), Nikol decided to take action. She created a TikTok “taking friend applications” video, which gained a lot of traction. Since she couldn’t meet everyone one-on-one, she chose to host a party.
“I invited everyone I knew, and even a few people I didn’t, to a party,” Nikol explained.
The result? A resounding success.
“A LOT of people during and after the event messaged me saying, They’re so happy something like this existed,'” she recalled.
Friends On Purpose
What started as a one-off gathering quickly grew into something bigger. Nikol’s events became so popular that when she moved to other cities, women volunteered to keep them going in Brisbane.
“I started the events 9 months into living in Brisbane. When I moved, I was going to stop it… but people didn’t want it to stop. A few girls from the group offered at take it over,” Nikol explained.
This pattern repeated in Melbourne and Sydney, with Nikol starting new groups and local women offering to manage them when she moved on.
The momentum continued to build: “The last city we did was Perth. Girls in new cities reach out to me to run events! Adelaide is the next location in November.”
Nikol saw the potential for something more: “I always wanted to have a business, and if all of these people wanted to hang out, let’s make it a thing.”
This led to the creation of Friends On Purpose, an events company that has brought together nearly 10,000 women across hundreds of events in 4 Australian cities.
Interestingly, the focus of the events evolved over time. “The first-ever event in Brisbane was co-ed (90% women though). But now, it’s female-only,” Nikol noted, highlighting how the concept has been refined to better serve its audience.
Key Strategies for Success
Nikol found several principles from the book particularly helpful:
- Sending reminder messages: Building anticipation and ensuring attendance
- Icebreakers: Facilitating connections between strangers
- Timed activities: Encouraging guests to mingle with different people
“I’ve gone to meetups before. They’re not bad, but the first person you talk to is who you were stuck with,” Nikol noted.
“Timing icebreakers and forcing people to switch up who they’re talking to allowed people to actually meet more people.”
She even put her own spin on some ideas: “Instead of a harmonica, I used a bell! Guests think it’s very funny.”
Nick’s note: Read this article to know more about the importance of using a harmonica. I also made a video demo here.
The Challenge of Lasting Connections
Despite the success of her events, Nikol noticed a common issue.
“People connect really well at the events, but those connections often fade afterward. That seems to be thanks to busy schedules and not knowing how to keep the momentum going.”
This observation led to her next project: an app to help people build and maintain relationships.
“It’s a relationship manager CRM app,” Nikol explained. The app will help users store friend info, set reminders to reach out, and suggest events and activities.
Excitingly, her app is already in development.
“The app is in prototype and we’re working on it. I’m hoping it’s out in a few months,” Nikol shared, indicating that this solution for maintaining connections could be available to hosts and guests in the near future.
2 Tips for Hosting Your Own Party
Inspired by Nikol to host your own gathering? Here’s her best advice:
1. Don’t be afraid to host
“No one will be upset that you invited them to a party! Do it, don’t be too nervous about inviting people. The hardest part is the first one.”
Nick’s note: I wrote a case study about my book reader Ben and why the first party is the hardest and how you can make the next ones better.
2. Focus on group events
“It’s nearly impossible to meet up with everyone individually, so group events are a fantastic and time-efficient way to maintain relationships. Then you can see everyone at the same time.”
The Impact of Connection
Reflecting on her journey from her first Brisbane event to the most recent one in Perth, Nikol said that “At the start, it was one of the best things to happen. Why did I start it? It was selfish – I wanted friends!”
The impact of these gatherings was profound. Not just for Nikol but for many others.
“I felt isolated beforehand. I hated Brisbane, I thought I made a bad decision and should move back. But through these parties, I was able to make new friends.”
The ripple effect of these connections has been remarkable. Nikol recounted, “People send me pictures! The most memorable was a photo of the 3rd party… The girls who met at the party ended up being bridesmaids in another guests’ wedding.”
These experiences have transformed Nikol’s perspective on her work and her role in people’s lives.
“The connections being made at these parties allowed me to see the outcome of my work versus a 9-5 where there’s no true purpose,” she noted.
“I am much more of a connector! I am very conscious of introducing people and connecting them if they’re new. I also love initiating group hang outs and hosting parties. I’ve become a more welcoming person.”
This journey from seeking friendship to facilitating connections for thousands demonstrates the power of purposeful gatherings and the profound impact they can have on both hosts and guests alike.
Conclusion
Nikol’s story shows the power of taking initiative and bringing people together. Here are the key takeaways:
- One party can lead to meaningful connections and even a thriving business
- Structured activities like icebreakers and timed discussions help facilitate better connections
- Group events are an efficient way to maintain multiple friendships
- There’s a need for tools to help people build and maintain relationships over time
- Don’t be afraid to host – people appreciate being invited!
Nikol’s journey from hosting one party to connecting thousands of women is a testament to the impact of purposeful gatherings. Whether you’re new to a city or looking to expand your social circle, consider hosting your own 2-hour cocktail party. You never know where it might lead!
In my book, The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, I provide helpful guidance on how to host a great party for any event. I wrote this book to support anyone interested in meeting new people.
When is your party? Send me an email and I will give you some bonus tips, including a pre-party checklist that you can print out. Plus, I’ll answer any question you have, free of charge. I love talking about parties, and I’m on a mission to help 500 people host their first party.
