Last updated: October 3, 2024
On a hot summer Friday night in Austin, Texas, 80 people gathered at a downtown bar for a new event called “Hot Takes Hot Dates.”
Hot Takes Hot Dates is hosted by Julia Mazur, a former Tinder employee and podcast host, and Joel Monteleone, a local life coach and event organizer.
The cost of the event was $25 per person. I attended it and really liked it. It was an innovative format that I haven’t seen before.
I’ll tell you everything they did and why I think it worked. I’ll also provide some suggestions on how I might improve it.
Nick’s note: Hi! I’m going to a bunch of dating events and writing about them. Email me if you know of others I should check out anywhere in the USA. Also check out my article on How to Host a Dating Salon.
Introduction
The Hot Takes Hot Dates event was described as follows:
It’s not like any other dating event you’ve been to in Austin. No speed dating, no awkward conversations, and you won’t feel pressured to give out your number. It’s a night of laughs, fun, and connection as you share your stories around dating and relationships with other successful, attractive singles in Austin for a chance to win a special night out with a group.
Julia and Joel created this event because they think dating in Austin is difficult.
“The dating apps are tough. So we thought, let’s get together and try something different,” Julia explained.
They had a simple goal: to create Austin’s most social dating event. But Julia and Joel have very different opinions on dating.
“She’s going to tell you her opinions, her hot takes, and yeah, I don’t agree with any of them,” Joel said.
Julia shared some of their differences: “I told Joel that I hate when men wear ankle socks. He lifted his pants and he was like, look at me. I’m wearing some ankle socks.” Everyone laughed.
She also mentioned, “I hate when men sing unannounced. And Joel does that all the time.”
Nick’s note: The hosts are really good! They had excellent and playful banter from the stage at the beginning that was very polished, professional, and fun.
Despite these differences, they realized they got along well.
“We don’t really have much in common, but we still get along pretty well,” Julia explained. “And so that’s kind of what we’re doing here today. You might not have things in common with each other, but you can still be friends and maybe even date.”
The energy was high when I arrived a bit late at 7:20PM.
Pro tip: If you’re going to a singles event, arrive on time! It’s less intimidating to show up to an empty room compared to walking in to a crowded spot where everyone is already talking. You’ll meet more people this way, too.Name Tags
I got a name tag at the front. I love name tags. I think almost every event should use name tags, especially singles events like this.
On the name tag, attendees were asked to write their first name, plus a dating “ick” or a dating turn-off. My name tag looked like this:
Note that there are two numbers in the bottom right corner, a “1” and a “10.” The hosts used these numbers to split us into small groups later. This is an excellent technique for splitting up groups. I’ve documented some different ways to split groups up using name tags here.
The Venue
Hot Takes Hot Dates was hosted at Wiggle Room, a bar in downtown Austin. It was a small-ish space made more crowded by four large tables and lots of chairs.
I was surprised how crowded it was, in a good way. The event was packed with 80 people.
Pro tip: Finding a good venue for your dating event is tough! You really want to do a buyout or have exclusive access to the space so you’re not sharing it with other patrons.I think Julia and Joel did a great job with this venue. It felt small but intimate. The booths around the outside were a perfect spot for the small groups to gather.
After getting my name tag and saying hello to some friends, we were instructed to find our tables for the first group activity. Each of the booths and tables had a standing sign with numbers from 1 to 10.
Icebreaker Activity
We all sat at these numbered tables and started by sharing our names and favorite spots in Austin to go for a date.
First icebreaker: Say your name and share one of your favorite dating spots in Austin.This was a nice, easy warmup. It helped people in our group get to know each other and learn about local hotspots. Some popular places mentioned in my group were:
- Barton Springs Pool
- Lolo Wine Bar on the East Side
- Peter Pan Mini Golf
- Lady Bird Lake (for walks)
- Mama Dearest
- The Proper Hotel
- Golden Goose
Hot Takes
Next, each table was given a dating-related topic to discuss. Groups had to come up with a “hot take” for their topic. A hot take is a controversial or thought-provoking opinion.
This is the list of topics given out. Topics were not shared. Each table had one of these topics:
- Open relationships
- Chivalry
- Shared bank accounts
- Sex on the first date
- Astrology
- Divorceés
- Run clubs
- Opposites attract
- Body counts
- Getting hit on at the gym
Our group got the “Open relationships” topic. The room was buzzing with energy as everyone debated and created their hot takes.
Nick’s note: I liked this activity because it felt like our group was competing against the rest of the room. It formed a team and alliances among us. It didn’t put pressure on us to feel like we were dating each other. My group had approximately an even male to female ratio.
Presentations and Voting
After 10 minutes of discussion, a representative from each table was invited to the stage to present each group’s hot take to the room.
The audience then voted if they agreed (green “sick” card) or disagreed (red “ick” card) with each take.
Here are the hot takes from all 10 groups:
Topic: Open Relationships
Hot Take: “Open relationships are never okay unless you’re fucking a conjoined twin.”
Topic: Chivalry
Hot Take: “Chivalry is sexy.”
Topic: Shared Bank Accounts
Hot Take: “No shared bank accounts while dating.”
Topic: Sex on the First Date
Hot Take: “Sex on the first date is okay if both parties consent, protection is used, and the woman is taken care of and has fun.”
Topic: Astrology
Hot Take: “Myers-Briggs is astrology for white men.”
Topic: Divorceés
Hot Take: “I will not date a divorceé unless she is my ex-girlfriend’s mom.”
Topic: Run Clubs
Hot Take: “The only reason to join a run club as it pertains to dating is if you want to give your baby terrible, terrible knees.”
Topic: Opposites Attract
Hot Take: “It doesn’t matter whether opposites attract or not. Just whoever you meet up with, you can get along with.”
Topic: Body Counts
Hot Take: “The higher the body count, the higher the chance of female orgasm.”
Topic: Getting Hit On at the Gym
Hot Take: “It’s okay to get hit on at the gym as long as you read the room and are respectful about it.”
This activity was my favorite part of the night. It was neat to hear from at least 1 person from each group, to vote for our favorites, and hear the hot takes (even if some of the group takes were a bit bland). Julia and Joel, the hosts, did a great job here.
Group Reshuffling and New Round
After the presentations, attendees were told to move to new tables based on the second number on our name tags. This next pairing was meant to allow attendees to meet and interact with a new group for the next activity.
Nick’s note: I wish we had more time between activities. At this point, the hosts could have allowed a 10 minute break to encourage attendees to get up and mix and mingle. Or even cut the activities here and switched to more open mingling and not had us sit down for the next part.
“Biggest Icks” Activity
In this next round, we gathered at new tables in new groups. People shared with the table their biggest dating turn-offs or “icks.”
Some notable mentions included:
- Men wearing ankle socks
- Dirty apartments, especially bathrooms
- Dating your best friend’s former partner
- Not having a car in Austin
- Complaining about work all the time
- Having a vegan diet
- The phrase “Do you have a boat?” on dating app profiles
We did this, they called on some table volunteers, and then the event wrapped up for mixed mingling.
Nick’s note: This activity was fine, but not nearly as polished and active as the first one. By this time we’d been there for 1.5 hours and I think the energy was starting to fade or the crowd’s interest in game show-style performance was waning. I think this activity could potentially be cut to allow more time for casual conversations, or do it in a non-seated format where the hosts work the room in a different way.
Critiques
This was a great event. I’ll give you my final rating in a bit. But I do want to share some critiques that I’ve heard besides the ones I shared:
- Lack of connection. The event didn’t give enough time for attendees to truly connect and meet each other.
- Too many games. The event felt more like a game night than a singles matchmaking event.
- Limited interaction. Attendees only met people from 2 groups in a structured way. With each group having about 6 people, it means you might only meet 12 of the 80+ attendees.
I don’t agree with all of these critiques, but I did want to share them. I don’t agree with them all because I think going away from the game show format would introduce a lot of pressure and stress on the audience that is typically associated with speed dating-type events.
I think Joel and Julia are on the right track here with their game show format. It’s honestly the best singles event that I think I’ve been to. The way they’ve setup the event was a low-pressure, entertaining evening. It does require confidence if you wish to meet people outside of one of your groups.
Conclusion
Julia and Joel thanked everyone for attending. They encouraged people to follow their Instagram account for more dating content and future events. The hosts emphasized that the night was just beginning, inviting everyone to keep socializing and enjoy the open bar.
The doors opened at 7:00PM, the event started at 7:30PM, and I believe it finished at 9:30PM.
Here’s what they emailed to everyone the next day:
Wow! All we can really say is thank you for coming, and let’s do that again soon. We hope you all had as much fun as we did.
As it turns out, getting in a room with a bunch of strangers to bond over our dating icks and hot takes is even more fun than we expected. We don’t know when the last time we laughed that hard on a date was, and frankly, we’d like all our first dates to be Hot Takes, Hot Dates moving forward. Thanks to you all; your energy and enthusiasm, we feel reinvigorated about the dating landscape again.
I think this “Hot Takes Hot Dates” event successfully mixed good entertainment, social interaction, and discussions about modern dating.
I rate the event a 9 out of 10 for Austin, Texas and would recommend it to my friends.
