Last updated: April 14, 2025
Have you ever moved to a new town and struggled to meet people and build your network?
That’s exactly what happened to Ying when she relocated to Gladstone, a small town in Australia.
She had no friends. No connections. And almost no hope.
But instead of giving up, she turned to an innovative solution: hosting regular Coffee and Conversations meetups at a coffee shop in her town.
After hosting 26 events over the past two years, Ying has created a regular community gathering that brings together locals for meaningful connections.
In this case study, you will learn:
- How she found her first participants and venue
- Practical tips for hosting your own Coffee and Conversations
- The challenges she faced and lessons learned after hosting 26 events
- How these gatherings have created meaningful connections in her community
Meet Ying in Australia
Ying and her husband moved to a small town in Australia in February 2023. This small town, Gladstone, presented a challenge: how to build an entirely new social network from scratch.
Working from home and running her business, NumbersJoy, made this challenge even more difficult, as Ying didn’t have the natural social opportunities that come with a traditional workplace to connect with others who might share her passion for numbers and joy in financial solutions.
We thought that a small town would be hard to rebuild our network in. Because I work from home, I needed to find ways to rebuild that network.
When Ying attended a local networking event, she met someone who had moved to Gladstone a year before her. He shared a common frustration: it can be really hard to find friends in small towns where people already have established social circles.
He also described Gladstone as a “transient town” where people primarily come for work, stay with their families, and often leave without developing deeper community connections.
This sparked the idea of creating Coffee and Conversations. They hosted a cocktail party using The 2-Hour Cocktail Party formula, and partnered with a café owner to launch it publicly.
Previously, Ying hosted a private cocktail party at home using the key concepts of my book.What is Coffee and Conversations?
Coffee and Conversations is a structured social gathering where people come together to meet new friends, have engaging discussions, and build community connections.
Unlike typical cafe meetups where people might stick with those they already know, Coffee and Conversations uses intentional formats like icebreakers and guided discussions to help people connect meaningfully with new acquaintances.
Key Features:
- Takes place monthly, on the second Saturday of each month
- Events last exactly two hours
- Held at a local cafe with enough space for 20-25 people
- Uses name tags and icebreaker questions
- Encourages meeting new people rather than sticking with familiar faces
The concept evolved from my book, The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, but with a daytime coffee focus that works well for Ying’s community. She adapted the structure to a public cafe setting, making it accessible to more people while maintaining the core elements that make these gatherings successful.
Finding the Right Venue
Finding the right venue was surprisingly straightforward for Ying, thanks to her co-host’s connections.
My co-host knew a cafe owner, so he contacted him. The cafe owner was happy for us to run the sessions at his place.
Ying attributes this easy start to their decisive approach: “At the start, just go for it. Don’t overthink it.”
Her co-host mentioned he had a friend who owned a cafe, contacted him the very next day, and the cafe owner was immediately receptive to the idea.
What Makes Their Venue Work:
- It’s a social enterprise cafe that sometimes helps people who can’t afford their food and drinks.
- The cafe owner is a church pastor with a good reputation in town.
- The space is large enough to accommodate 20-25 people comfortably.
- It has a moderate atmosphere – not too busy, not too quiet.
After checking other cafes, they found many were either too small, too popular and busy, or too quiet, making their current venue ideal despite less-than-perfect acoustics.
Consistency Is Key: They always hold the event at the same time and place: the second Saturday of each month.
Getting People to Come
For their very first Coffee and Conversations, Ying and her co-host kept things simple: “It was supposed to be a fun project, so there were no expectations at the start.”
Rather than creating a formal invite list, they publicized the event in local Facebook groups.
Local communities or areas would have multiple Facebook groups related to your area, the surrounding suburbs, or surrounding areas.
They posted a simple announcement stating they were organizing an event for people finding it hard to meet friends.
The results surprised them:
18 to 20 people turned up for the first event. We had no idea because there were no invite lists. It was just a Facebook event, and that’s it.
To ensure they wouldn’t be alone if a few people showed up, they invited their “core group”—a few friends who confirmed they would attend.
When you organize a public event at the start, get some friends to come along, if all things fail, at least you can catch up with your friends.
For maintaining attendance over time, Ying emphasizes consistency.
It’s about consistency on Facebook groups. Some people might see your posts for months before finally attending when their schedule allows.
This consistent presence helps build both regular attendees and new faces at each event.
To create additional momentum in their first year, they collaborated with a local nonprofit organization called Gladstone Paws, which focuses on dog and cat adoption.
We brought the dogs to the cafe and people were crazy over those puppies. Some were even adopted on that day.
These collaborations helped them gain publicity in local magazines, newspapers, and even radio.
How to Do This Yourself
Ying’s Coffee and Conversations follows a structured yet flexible format that helps create engaging interactions while keeping things moving.
Event Flow
- Arrival & Name Tags: When attendees arrive, they’re given name tags, which Ying considers essential for helping people connect.
- Introductions: The host introduces newcomers to regulars.
- Icebreaker Questions: These prompt conversations among attendees.
- Mixing & Mingling: Participants are encouraged to speak with people they haven’t met.
- Wrap-up: The event concludes after exactly two hours.
We try to use phrases like, “Hey, talk to someone that you haven’t met before for the next round and we’ll come back in 20 minutes time to answer our next icebreaker question.”
Icebreaker questions serve multiple purposes: they help people share interesting information about themselves, and they create natural breaks in conversation that prevent people from getting stuck in the same group throughout the event.
Using the next question to break up the group actually helps, once the question starts, it allows people to stop talking with anyone they’ve been talking with, whether they enjoy it or not. It breaks the pattern.
Icebreaker Question Ideas:
- “What’s your go-to comfort food?”
- “What’s your favorite cuisine?”
- “What did you have for lunch and dinner yesterday?”
Ying told me that food topics are always easy for people to answer, so she likes using them.
The Two-Hour Format: Timing and Structure
A key element of Ying’s Coffee and Conversations is the strict two-hour timeframe inspired by my book.
We stick to that two hours format. I would just say, hey, we have 10 minutes left and by half past 10 I will come along to rip your name tags off to symbolize the end of this session.
This clear boundary doesn’t mean people have to leave – they can continue socializing if they wish:
They can continue going. It’s just that right at the dot, at half past ten I would go around, rip everyone’s name tag and that just finishes. They can continue. They can enjoy lunch after that, whatever they do.
As hosts, Ying and her co-host typically stay about 10 minutes after the official end to rearrange tables and ensure the venue is left in good condition.
Managing Newcomers and Regulars
One of the challenges of any recurring social event is ensuring that newcomers feel welcome while regular attendees continue to find value.
Welcoming Strategies:
- Give everyone name tags (following my book’s recommendations).
- Introduce newcomers to regulars: This is Rachel. Rachel is a regular. And this is Amelia. Amelia is new.
- Jokingly refer to long-time attendees as “platinum members.”
- Use icebreakers to mix people up throughout the event.
The icebreaker questions play a crucial role in mixing newcomers with regulars. By creating structured conversation opportunities and encouraging people to speak with someone new between questions, the format naturally prevents people from sticking exclusively with those they already know.
Trying to introduce them at the start can help. Not 100%, but using the next question to break up the group actually helps.
Balance Is Important: Ying acknowledges that some regulars prefer to catch up with friends they’ve made through previous events:
“To be fair, some regulars just want to talk to their regulars. So it is understandable.”
She respects this while still creating opportunities for new connections.
As the host, Ying focuses on ensuring everyone is comfortable rather than having extended conversations herself.
As a host, it’s quite hard to talk to everyone, even though there are 20 people. It’s like just one or two minutes interaction with everyone because you have to make sure that people are comfortable, setting the questions, and organizing the movement of the crowd.
Collaborations and Growth
While Ying doesn’t focus on growing the number of attendees—”We didn’t focus too much on growing as it’s supposed to be a fun hobby project”—she has explored ways to enhance the experience through collaborations and potential expansion.
Successful Collaborations:
- Partnered with Gladstone Paws, a local nonprofit for dog and cat adoption.
- Brought dogs to the event.
- Generated publicity in local magazines, newspaper, and radio.
Though Ying and her co-host became busier in the second year and focused primarily on their core event, she still sees value in collaborations, though acknowledges they take time to organize.
Collaboration is always a good thing. It creates differentiation as well as a different event for our core participants. Sometimes a little bit of sprinkle of something different will make them more enjoyable.
Future Plans: Regarding expansion to new locations, Ying and her co-host are starting to experiment:
“This coming March, we are having one in a location that is about 20 minutes away from our regular cafe on a different date. So we still have our regular event, but we just add another additional event in two weeks.”
With both events happening on different days, Ying and her co-host will be attending and hosting them together.
Challenges and Lessons Learned
After hosting 26 Coffee and Conversations events, Ying has encountered several challenges and learned valuable lessons along the way.
Three Main Challenges:
- Attracting new faces consistently
- Considering reaching out to local businesses to encourage employees to attend
- Documenting success stories
- People tell them about going to trivia nights, picnics, and board games together
- “We were not doing very well in collecting and documenting these stories”
- Planning to systematically collect testimonials in the future
- Finding the right co-hosts
- Concerned that without the right people, the event “might just disappear”
Despite these challenges, Ying has seen real results from their efforts. Connections formed at Coffee and Conversations have led to genuine friendships:
Why Choose a Public Venue Instead of Home
One question many people ask is why host Coffee and Conversations in a public venue rather than in your home, especially if you’ve already tried hosting gatherings at home.
What we’re doing with Coffee Conversation is meeting people that I don’t really interact with on a daily basis. It’s a good way to actually meet the local communities and to broaden my network to meet different types of people from all walks of life.
Ying’s Reasons for Public Venues:
- Requires less personal effort: “Doing it at home requires me to meet people first. Meeting someone and inviting someone, especially new faces, to my home requires effort for me to go out.”
- Overcomes subconscious bias: “We all have subconscious biases. There will be people that I just like to meet because we have the same mindset or the same background.”
- Increases diversity: “There will always be similar types of people. I recognize that it’s the same as my friendship group because, again, it’s comfortable. We are on the same journey, same life stages.”
Five Steps to Start Your Own Coffee and Conversations
Based on her experience hosting 26 successful events, Ying recommends these five key steps for anyone looking to start their own Coffee and Conversations:
Do not hesitate and just do it.
1. Find an accountability partner or co-host
- Don’t try to do it alone
- Sharing responsibilities makes everything easier
- A co-host brings different connections and perspectives
2. Find the right venue
- Speak to cafe owners about your concept
- Look for a space that’s the right size (not too small, not too big)
- Choose a location with the right atmosphere
3. Use Facebook groups to kickstart the event
- Post in local community Facebook groups
- Create Facebook events that people can share
- Don’t rely on paid advertising
4. Invite a core group
- Make sure you have a few friends who will definitely attend
- This ensures you won’t be alone if turnout is low
- Creates initial energy and conversation
5. Practice your questions beforehand
- Prepare icebreakers and opening lines in advance
- Have thoughtful, engaging questions ready
- Practice delivery to encourage participation
6. Repeat the process
- Consistency is key to building community through these gatherings.
Conclusion
Ying’s Coffee and Conversations journey demonstrates how a simple idea can create meaningful community connections. What started as a personal need to build a network in a new town has evolved into a monthly tradition that brings together people from all walks of life.
Key Takeaways:
- Start with intention – have a clear purpose for your gathering
- Don’t overthink it – sometimes just taking action is the most important step
- Be consistent – hold events regularly so people know when to expect them
- Create structure – use name tags, icebreakers, and a defined timeframe
- Be adaptable – try collaborations and new approaches to keep things fresh
One final tip from Ying: “If there’s any issue, contact Nick!”
She’s not joking: you can always email me and I’ll give you help with your party. Good luck!!
The impact goes beyond just conversations during the event.
“We have people that come together and literally after the event, they go for lunch or like the next week they’ll go for trivia night together… and we went picnic together, we went for board games together.”
Whether you’re new to a town or simply want to foster deeper connections in your existing community, Coffee and Conversations offers a proven framework for bringing people together in meaningful ways.
Hello, My name is Nick Gray. In my book, The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, I provide helpful guidance on how to host a great party for any event. I wrote this book to support anyone attempting to meet new people and develop closer bonds with their community.
When is your party? Send me an email and I will give you some bonus tips, including a pre-party checklist that you can print out. Plus I’ll answer any question you have, free of charge. I love talking about parties and I’m on a mission to help 500 people host their first party.
