How To Make New Friends: Proven Strategies for Meaningful Connections

Last updated: April 17, 2025

Hey! My name is Nick Gray, and I will teach you how to make friends, meet new people, and even build big relationships.

Making new friends as an adult takes effort, unlike childhood when bonds form naturally. But with the right approach, building these connections can be transformative.

It was for me—my friends motivate and inspire me, offer support during difficult times, and even played a role in starting my last business.

Beyond these practical benefits, meaningful friendships increase happiness, create a sense of belonging, and enrich our lives in countless ways.

Whether you’ve relocated to a new city, begun a new job, or simply want to expand your social circle, this guide offers practical strategies to help you meet new people and build lasting friendships that will enhance your life.

Remember: The best friendships start when you pursue activities you genuinely enjoy. As I always say…

“If you want to meet interesting people, you have to do interesting things.”

TL;DR: Making New Friends as an Adult

Friendship Matters: Strong social connections improve mental health, physical well-being, and can even extend your lifespan.

Quick Strategy Guide:

• Join recurring groups: Sports leagues, classes, volunteer organizations
• Leverage technology: Use Bumble BFF, Meetup, and Facebook Groups
• Follow the 3-2-1 method: Each week, reach out to 3 acquaintances, plan 2 social activities, and invite 1 new person to coffee
• Host a simple 2-hour gathering: Invite 5 close connections and ask each to bring someone new
• Be consistent: Regular, brief interactions build stronger connections than occasional, intensive ones

Why you should trust me: I moved to New York City hardly knowing anyone. I wasn’t outgoing or socially confident, and I definitely didn’t know how to host a party. Over the last 15 years, I’ve met thousands of people and hosted hundreds of parties to build big relationships. I wrote this article and interviewed several others who have used these techniques to meet new friends, best friends, and even boost their careers. Keep reading to see our best tips.

Why Making New Friends is Vital

The importance of friendships extends far beyond just having someone to hang out with.

Strong social connections provide significant benefits to your physical and mental wellbeing:

• Improved mental health: Friends provide emotional support, reducing the risk of depression and anxiety.
• Better physical health: Studies show that people with strong social ties have lower blood pressure, stronger immune systems, and may even live longer.
• Greater sense of belonging: Friends help create community and reduce feelings of isolation.
• Enhanced resilience: A strong support network helps you weather life’s challenges.
• Increased happiness: Meaningful connections are consistently linked to higher life satisfaction.

As we age, having friends becomes even more crucial for staying connected to our communities and maintaining cognitive health. Making friends is a vital skill that isn’t taught in school, but once you know what to do, it becomes exciting and worthwhile.

Understanding Different Types of Friendships

Not all friendships serve the same purpose in our lives, and recognizing the different types can help you develop a more fulfilling social circle.

Activity Friends

These connections revolve around shared interests or activities:

• What they offer: Fun, consistent interaction around specific pastimes
• How to develop: Join regular group activities and be reliable about showing up
• Ideal settings: Sports leagues, hobby groups, fitness classes, volunteer teams

Activity friends often provide low-pressure companionship without requiring deep emotional investment, making them perfect starter friendships in a new environment.

Emotional Support Friends

These deeper connections provide understanding and care during both good and challenging times:

• What they offer: Empathy, perspective, and a safe space to be vulnerable
• How to develop: Gradually share more personal experiences and be consistently supportive
• Ideal settings: Smaller gatherings, one-on-one conversations, support groups

Building these friendships requires patience and reciprocity—be willing to both offer and accept support.

Intellectual and Mentor Friendships

These relationships center on stimulating conversation, the exchange of ideas, or wisdom-sharing:

• What they offer: Mental stimulation, new perspectives, guidance, and growth
• How to develop: Engage in thoughtful discussions and share resources like books or articles
• Ideal settings: Book clubs, classes, workshops, professional organizations, alumni groups

A healthy social circle typically includes a mix of these friendship types. When feeling socially unfulfilled, consider which types might be missing from your life and focus your friendship-building efforts accordingly.

Effective Strategies for Making New Friends

I’ll outline and describe each of these techniques below:

• Join a Club or Organization
• Explore Online Communities
• Pursue Special Interests and Hobbies
• Participate in Guided Tours, Especially When Traveling
• Connect with Colleagues or Neighbors
• Utilize Social Media and Networking Apps
• More Places to Meet New Friends
• Host a 2-Hour Cocktail Party or happy hour

Join Clubs or Organizations

Getting involved in activities that matter to you is where you’re most likely to meet people with similar values and interests. Clubs provide the perfect excuse for people to hang out consistently.

Some effective options include:

• Book clubs: Connect with fellow readers and engage in stimulating discussions
• Fitness classes: Regular workout groups create natural bonds through shared effort
• Recreational sports: Kickball is particularly effective because the teams are large, and you’ll spend half the time hanging out in the dugout together
• Volunteer organizations: Working toward a common cause creates meaningful connections

Organizations with a purpose-driven focus provide additional benefits. Consider joining local committees, non-profits, or language classes to meet people while making a difference.

Explore Online Communities

The digital world offers numerous ways to find people who share your passions. Start by listing your favorite hobbies and activities, then search for online groups dedicated to these interests.

The best places to look include:

• Discord channels: Join servers dedicated to specific interests or hobbies.
• Facebook Groups: Find local communities with regular in-person meetups.
• Slack communities: Many professional and interest-based groups use this platform.
• Forums and specialized sites: Niche interests often have dedicated online spaces.

For local connections, consider:

• Meetup.com: Browse a variety of small local events in your area.
• Toastmasters: Improve public speaking skills while making connections.
• Community boards and newsletters: Look for event listings in your neighborhood.

Pursue Special Interests and Hobbies

One of the most natural ways to make friends is through activities you already enjoy. Ask yourself:

1. What do you do with your free time already?
2. How can you go to areas filled with other people doing this same activity?

For example, if you love yoga but always practice at home with YouTube videos, sign up for a yoga studio or find a nearby park where locals host classes.

Other hobby-based connection opportunities include:

• Art workshops and gallery events: As one person shared, “Attending art gallery shows often hosts receptions with refreshments. A perfect life hack to meet new people in the area and get free food and drinks while you’re at it.”
• Cooking classes: Bond over creating and enjoying food together.
• Music groups or lessons: Whether you’re a beginner or experienced, music creates instant connections.
• Crafting circles: Knitting, woodworking, and other crafts often have dedicated community spaces.

Participate in Guided Tours and Travel Groups

The point of traveling is to experience a new part of the world, and guided tours offer a perfect opportunity to connect with like-minded travelers.

Consider these options:

• Art and museum tours: Connect over shared cultural interests.
• Food tours: Bond over culinary experiences.
• Hiking and outdoor adventures: Nature provides a natural backdrop for conversation.
• Boat or bus tours: Structured activities with built-in socializing time.

You can find these experiences on platforms like Airbnb Experiences, TripAdvisor, or through local tourism offices.

Connect with Colleagues and Neighbors

Some of your best potential friends are people you already see regularly. When talking to coworkers or neighbors, focus on their interests, hobbies, and passions. Since most people love talking about themselves, this makes connection much easier.

Try these approaches:

• Invite colleagues for coffee or lunch: Move beyond work discussions to more personal topics.
• Attend or organize neighborhood events: Block parties, community gardens, or local improvement initiatives.
• Distribute friendly flyers: My friend Sujan printed friendly family flyers and put them in everyone’s mailbox in his suburban neighborhood, resulting in enough RSVPs to host a great first gathering.

My friend, Sujan, did something genius! He printed out friendly family flyers and put them in everyone’s mailbox in his suburban neighborhood. It’s not a core group in the traditional sense, but it still got him enough RSVPs to have the confidence to invite more people to his first gathering. Read how he did that in this article.

Utilize Social Media and Networking Apps

Technology has made finding potential friends easier than ever before. These platforms can help you connect with like-minded individuals:

• Bumble BFF: This dating app’s friendship mode helps women connect with potential friends nearby.
• Meetup: Find or create gatherings around specific interests.
• Facebook Events: Discover local happenings where you might meet new people.
• NextDoor: Connect with neighbors through this community-focused platform.

When using these apps, be authentic about your interests, respond promptly to messages, and try to transition to in-person meetings when appropriate.

More Places to Meet New Friends

Here are some more suggestions from people who read early drafts of my book:

“Look at organizations for ex-pats like InterNations. They have groups in over four hundred cities. I find ex-pats can be more open to connecting. Unlike locals, they don’t have established networks and might have just moved to a city.” —Judhajit De

“I have invited a few very distant relatives that live in town to parties. For example, my mother-in-law’s cousin’s daughter. She’s someone I met once at a big family event, seemed cool, and it turned out we could be friends in addition to extremely distant in-laws.” —Alex Gates

“For women looking to meet new friends, try the Bumble app and use the Bumble BFF setting. It’s a great way to connect. I met a number of new people using it and invited them to my parties.” —Gena Stanley

“Join a recreational sports league in your area. I play on soccer teams and have made many friends over the years. My own Party Pro Tip: To maximize the opportunity of meeting people, play kickball because that sport has the largest teams.” —Seth Hanes

“Reach out to people from your yoga, boxing, or gym classes. Invite the coaches and instructors too.” —Rui Zhang

Host a 2-Hour Cocktail Party

Now that you’ve made a bunch of new friends or met several new people, it is time to connect them all. Hosting a party can be a great way to deepen your relationships and make new friends.

Here’s a simple approach:

1. Ask your five closest friends if they are available to meet on a specific day (they’ll form your “Core Group”).
2. Schedule about three weeks out to give people time to plan.
3. Consider hosting on a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday night when people have fewer commitments.
4. Keep it simple with basic drinks and snacks.
5. Use name tags and planned activities to help people connect.

I’ve tested this formula with people all over the world who have successfully hosted gatherings and made new connections. 

How to Overcome the Challenges of Making New Friends

Making friends as an adult comes with unique obstacles. Here’s how to address some common challenges.

Managing Social Anxiety

If you feel nervous about meeting new people:

• Start with structured activities where conversation happens naturally.
• Prepare a few friendly questions or conversation starters.
• Focus on being curious about others rather than worrying about being judged.
• Remember that most people are open to meeting new friends.

Finding Time in Busy Schedules

With work and other responsibilities, socializing can feel impossible:

• Schedule social activities in advance and treat them as important appointments.
• Combine socializing with existing commitments (work out with a friend instead of alone).
• Start small with brief coffee meetings or quick check-ins.
• Be realistic about your capacity and prioritize quality over quantity.

Moving Past Surface Conversations

To create meaningful connections:

• Ask open-ended questions that encourage sharing of thoughts and experiences.
• Share appropriate personal information to encourage reciprocal openness.
• Listen actively and follow up on details from previous conversations.
• Be patient as trust develops gradually over time.

Deepen Conversations

Moving beyond surface-level interactions builds trust and understanding:

• Play conversation games: Activities like “36 Questions to Fall in Love” (adapted for friendship) create structure for deeper discussions.
• Share a meal with no phones: Distraction-free conversations allow for more meaningful exchanges.
• Go for a walk together: Side-by-side conversations often feel less intense than face-to-face, making it easier to discuss more personal topics.
• Book or podcast club for two: Select something to read or listen to independently, then discuss your perspectives.
• “High-low” check-ins: Share the highest and lowest points of your week to understand each other’s lives.

Establish Traditions and Expand Your Circle

Creating recurring, meaningful rituals and introducing friends to each other strengthens bonds:

• Start a monthly tradition: Whether it’s a game night, movie viewing, or brunch.
• Celebrate personal milestones: Acknowledge birthdays, achievements, or significant events.
• Create inside jokes or references: Shared humor builds exclusive connections.
• Host a small gathering: Invite your new friend to meet some of your established friends.
• Accept invitations to meet their friends: Being open to their social circle shows reciprocal interest.

Remember that the best friendships involve mutual support, appreciation, and consistency. Express gratitude, follow up on important events, and be reliable in your communications to show that you value the relationship.

Practice Vulnerability and Support

Building trust through appropriate openness and reliable support:

• Offer specific help: Instead of “let me know if you need anything,” make concrete offers like “Can I bring dinner over Thursday?”
• Remember and follow up: Ask about important events or concerns they’ve mentioned previously.
• Express appreciation: Specifically acknowledge how their friendship impacts your life.
• Share skills and knowledge: Teaching each other things you’re good at creates meaningful connections.
• Be there during challenging times: Show up consistently when your friend is going through difficulties.

Conclusion

I remember the first time that I made a new friend in New York City. I was so excited that I could barely sleep. I never knew that I could simply talk to someone, get their contact information, and start to build a relationship.

Now you can start to do the same. Once you start using these tips and techniques, it’ll become much easier to make new friends. I hope that I’ve convinced you of the benefits of hosting a small party, too.

Remember: “If you want to meet interesting people, do interesting things.”

The first five things you should look to do are:

1. Join a sports league
2. Research local clubs
3. Find guided tours
4. Talk to your co-workers or neighbors
5. Host a cocktail party or happy hour

I’ve tested this advice with dozens of people who have met hundreds of new friends. Good luck, and let me know how it goes!

Want to bring interesting people together for a cocktail party? Want them to beg you to host more? You can do this with a simple 2-hour cocktail party. Check out the book that I wrote and download the first few chapters for free to see exactly how it works.

Do you have other tips or tricks for making friends? Send me an email and I’ll add your notes to this page.